Days in The Sun

I often used to read books when I was a kid, where people where in quarantine, or you see signs on people's doors in old movies. Never in my life did I imagine I would be going through a lockdown myself with my children, as a single mum, because a plague would visit the modern world. 

At least things have eased a bit now, and we can visit people again, but still I'm being cautious, as this unknown respiratory illness is scary to even the healthy, let alone a family of asthmatics.

But I'm not going to lie- it hasn't been bad, we have made the most of it, and actually enjoyed it. I am thankful that I have been able to stay home, home-school my children and make the most of these days.

We have been doing a lot of learning and trying to get exercise where we can- today we went for a walk in the sunshine & I called past my mum and dads' to check on them, as they are elderly and my mum has fragile health. Here's some photos: 

We made silly shadows to amuse ourselves, hey you gotta' find things to do where you can!

Being Creative, Spending Days at Home

So I've found a lot of creative things to do of late- what choice do I have? There's no where to go, and no one to see, so we have to look within ourselves for entertainment and be grateful for good health. I decided to muck around with felt recently- and this is a little character I created called Benny Boo- One day I'd love to illustrate a book about him- I have a little idea somewhere at the back of my mind.  

I'd also love to make some books with felt illustrations. I seeing books when I was a kid, where a lady had used real world objects to illustrate it and that always stuck with me, it was so cool and creative!

Even though the lockdowns and restrictions are much better, we are still not vaccinated, and we will continue to isolate as much as possible due to our health issues and my parents poor health.

I also entered some online pageants- I had dreams of getting back into pageants one day- and for now, travelling to places like Sydney and metropolitan areas are out of the question, as I cannot risk getting Covid and bringing it back to my family. Maybe it's not my time for things like this! But still, there's nothing wrong with doing some online ones for fun!

I tried on different outfits for the different pageant sections, and then just had to record myself and send it in.

I also bought some books from indie authors I've met on Facebook, to read on my YouTube channel when I start it, if I ever start it lol!

I've also been taking photos of flowers lately, because they are pretty and cheerful and I though I might be able to use them in a poetry book at some point. 

I also made a new vision board.

These are the things on there (not in any particular order): 

1. I'd love to travel more again, when the kids are older.

2. I'd love to be a millionaire and go on gameshows

3. I want to be a good mum and have a good relationship with my kids

4. I want to find a good man, someone who wants to build a future with me and my kids.

5. I want to be fit and healthy and eat well. (healthy foods)

6. I want to look good, e.g. have my hair the colour I want, be able to dress the way I want etc to be able to express myself.

7. I want to do more art, illustrate my own books one day, make creative stuff

8. I want to exercise more

I've also been trying to make afternoon tea fun to break up some of the monotony of being stuck at home all day by serving up yummy platters for us to share. 

We've also been doing craft, colouring in and playing lots of games- my middle son made his sister the sample card when we were playing a guessing game, and we all had a good laugh about it. You gotta' make your own fun lol. 

Know Your Self to Know Your Blog...

 

I've wanted to have a blog for the past few years, but really struggled to find my feet as a blogger. I now realise it was because I didn't really know who I was and I wasn't living my authentic life.

I spent a great deal of time watching Oprah as  teenager and D.Phil. and they taught me far more than school ever did. Now I am not saying you don't need  an education, but I am saying their life advice has given me a wisdom that I have always clung too, because what use is an education without common sense and wisdom?

When I first started blogging, I really had no idea what I was doing, and I hadn't even read any blogs except Tavi Gevinson. I was amazed at how cool the idea of blogging was, it was like a dairy, like a  peep into another person's soul and I thought that was very interesting.

My favourite type of blogs are the ones that are more authentic, that look kind of dodgey. I'm not a huge fan of blogs that look too much like a professional website as I think they lose something in the translation.

Something happened to blogs a few years ago and they started getting fancier and fancier and becoming mini websites. While I think it's important to have an aesthetically pleasing and well set out blog, It should for all intensive purposes still feel like a blog and reflect the character of it's author/s.

My first blog was supposed to be a vintage clothing blog, but then it turned into a personal blog and I really had no idea what I was fucking doing. It would be a food blog, talk about Autism blog, op-shop scores blogs, challenge blog, you know like a portrait a week for 52 weeks etc
It was random to sat the least.

Now, after multiple attempts with blogging, changing my blogs name, changing the template constantly etc...I lost any readers or audience I had because I fucked around with it so damn much. If I don't know what I 'm doing- the audience isn't going to trust me.

A few years ago, I actually got very depressed because my blog seemed like a fruitless waste of time, but like  I said, it was just me making white noise into the blogsphere because I  didn't really live what I was doing.

When you are aligned with your life's purpose, you feel it in your soul. This is how I feel about writing and everyone I know tells me I am a good writer and to keep at it. I always did well in English with my creative writing and it was these marks that tipped me over into the advanced English class.

I have known since I was a child that I was born to write. I think that when something is your reason for being on this earth you just know. Writing is like breathing to me and I need to write to function, to be happy, to calm and abate my nerves, to get out my feelings and feel normal. 

It is this belief and this knowledge that I need to channel into myself and my blog. I'm not going to blog about cars or giraffes am I? If I did it would not be authentic. I wouldn't really give a crap and wouldn't have a whole lot to say on the topic would I?

But get me talking about my stories, about books, and about what ignites my soul and hopefully it will translate into something that other people can enjoy and understand.

Always choose the topic that ignites you to blog about because that is where you will flourish, be true to yourself and live your authentic life.

Because I have so many diverse interest, I decided to have several blogs, one for vintage stuff and cheap horror films, one for writing, and one that was more personal and crafty. 

Now I feel much more content knowing that I can express all parts of me, with confidence and the knowledge that I kind of know where I'm going now!

Rainy Day Rummaging

 

All my life I've scribbled and written. It has accumulated to a large amount of drawings and stories over the years. I have kept anything that I liked or thought was half decent, always with the intent of doing something with it one day.

Well now, it is one day and I am starting to organise my stories and get them illustrated. It's exciting, so exciting, as I am not just day dreaming anymore, but actually being proactive!

It is very therapeutic, actually, and also weird. I found a dairy from like 11 years ago, full of shopping list and budgeting, but in the margins were my drawings and stories...I clearly ran out of paper lol.

I also found my children's scrap books I've been making for them, and a picture of me pregnant with my second child, looking so young and so different. It really took me back to that time.

I've been married twice, and both situations were not ideal, and it really took me back to a place where I was not happy. It made me realise for the first time in my life, I am actually happy and content, and I am ok with being single and being on my own.

I have plans and ambition, and just want to create a happy home for my kids. 

I had some leggings and a new dress come in the mail this week, which I was super excited about. I've had a pretty rough month due to a head injury and chest infection, and I was getting pretty housebound.

Yesterday, I thought I'd sneak out to the supermarket, and was feeling like the world’s biggest scab. I am still slightly limping and I ran into two of my friends, as you do. They didn't care, but I felt like Josie Grosse in Never been Kissed.

So, after my little pity party and chocolate adventure yesterday, I ate healthily today and put on some makeup. I tried on my new dress with my floral crown, and I felt like a million dollars for the first time in a month.

I bought myself this dress as a present to congratulate myself for making it through a very tough year. It's now been a year and one day, over it in fact and I can apply for divorce whenever I like. I'm not sad anymore, I'm actually relieved, and I know that nothing can go back to the way it was. Just like the poem, Splendour in the Grass.

Though nothing can bring back the hour

Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower,

We will grieve not, rather find

Strength in what remains behind…

It always say that in my head, to remind myself that it's only forward from here. So, this is my celebration dress. I am also going to wear it when I sing with my sister. I am doing a Cert 3 in music Performance, as well as a Cert 4 in Education Support, which I am also most finished (got one and half assignments to go, plus three weeks work experience).

I'm happy things are looking up, I feel as though I have been in a transitional stage for so long, just trying to make sense of life, make sense of everything, but finally, I am healing and seeing the way forward.

The kids and I also played hang man and restarted reading the Wizard of Oz series. We started it like over a year ago and life happened and we didn't end up finishing it. I actually have the entire series, so will be fun to read through all the different books. Major writer inspiration right there!

I also listened to my friend’s CD, which is an EP, containing six lovely songs. I sat in the dark, listening to the rain and the soft, folky sounds of Born in October, and I sipped on my cup of tea, feeling content that I had achieved a lot to day :)